Experience Matters and Other Things I Wish I Knew when I Turned 20

August 20 is a special day in our house. Why? It’s the day that the baby of our family arrived, even though it took her several hours to decide to join us. As we celebrate that we’ve had our youngest with us now for two decades, it makes me think about things I wish I knew when I turned 20. So read on, all you 20 somethings, here’s my list.

Things I Wish I Knew when I Turned 20

Raise your hand in class. It doesn’t matter if what you say sounds stupid. Better to get your question answered than look stupid for just one minute. Had I done this more often when I was 20, my GPA might have been even better than it was. And, raising your hand to share an idea you have might be just the answer to a problem classmates or colleagues at work are trying to solve. Speak up. Your questions, ideas and opinions matter.

Men and women are wired differently and don’t think about relationships the same (if you don't think so, read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus). Just because a significant other doesn’t contact you for a few days doesn’t necessarily mean she/he doesn't want to have anything to do with you. If you want to spend time with someone special in your life, reach out to them. I finally realized this in my mid-twenties and am married to the man I called when I hadn’t heard from him for a while.

Being chicken doesn’t get you anywhere. Get out of your comfort zone and try new things and meet new people. When I was 20, I was shy when I got around people I didn’t know. I missed out on so much because I hung back. If you get past your shyness, you will encounter some of the most interesting people and have some of the most engaging conversations. I know I now have.

You have more skills than you think you do. As I was looking for my first job and fine tuning my resume, I had a difficult time. What skills did I have? Zero, then, in my opinion. I had been a server at a conference center, an economics tutor, an intern for the local Legal Aid, an international student at a British university for a year, and a leader in several organizations, but I still didn’t think I had any skills. Boy, was I wrong. Need help figuring out what you should showcase to employers? Come see us in Career Services - we can help!

Experience matters. Get as much as you can whether the experience is gained from work, leadership, travel, research, a clinic, athletics, a volunteer role or a combination thereof. Pursue experience whenever you can. Relevant experience and leadership experience are two of the top items employers look for when they review candidates’ resumes. The more experience you have, the better! Advisors at Career Services can help you in your search for experience.

Watch your language. Just because you are in an interview with a recruiter close to your age, don't get too comfortable and let the F-bomb fly during your conversation. Refrain from using slang and cuss words in such a professional setting, and if you're not sure if it's a professional setting, err on the side of caution and use a better word. I cuss as much as the next person (maybe more), but I try to avoid doing so at work, with students, in meetings, and other settings. I learned this lesson early on from my dear mother when I got my mouth washed out with soap at age 13 for saying a four letter word after I lost a card game.

And finally, although I was well aware of this when I was 20, again thanks to my mother’s teaching, many 20 somethings are not, so…Say THANK YOU whenever you can. Being shy is not an excuse. Being scared of the person to whom you should show appreciation is not an excuse. People who did something for you deserve to receive your praise. Thank the parent, guardian or other person who helped you get settled in for fall classes; thank the family who took you on vacation with them this summer; thank all the people who gave you graduation gifts; thank anyone who lets you crash at their house; thank a faculty member when she writes you a recommendation; thank a co-worker when he covers a shift; thank a host as you leave an event. You get the picture. And, never feel like you can thank someone too much. Thank her/him again.

In closing, thank you to the woman who made this blog post possible and who has brought such joy to our lives, my daughter, Maggie. Oh yeah, and Happy Birthday to my new favorite 20 year old Hokie.

Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you'll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you'll find that you have more of it.  Ralph Marston