Commitment.
Webster's Dictionary defines the word this way:
com·mit·ment
noun \kə-ˈmit-mənt\
: a promise to do or give something
: a promise to be loyal to someone or something
: the attitude of someone who works very hard to do or support something
In today's fast paced world, jumping to say YES, can be a mistake.
Lately, I've seen a bunch of examples where people don't honor their commitments (these aren't their real names, but each of these situations really happened):
- There was Brittany, who backed out of the lease she signed for the coming year with several other roommates.And then, after she backed out and a new roommate was found, the new roommate, Amber, followed suit.
- How about Brandon who backed out of the offer he accepted for a full-time job with his second choice employer to go work for his first choice employer whose offer came much later, after he had said yes to the first offer? That's called reneging on an offer, and it's viewed as an unprofessional and unethical practice that is frowned on in the world of work.
- Or, there are Jordan and Taylor who were serving as committee chairs for state and regional professional organizations where they asked to get out of their critical leadership positions after a few months. Meanwhile, leaders of those groups had to twist arms to try and fill the holes that Jordan and Taylor left.
- And, I'm sure you know someone like Lauren or Matthew who didn't pull through with what they said they would do when they worked on a group project.
Think before you say YES or before you back out after saying YES.
When you commit, you are making a promise. What does that mean? You are saying that you definitely are going to do something. Not sure it's definite? Then don't make the promise. Giving someone your word and then backing out breaks your trust with people. Trust is critical to successful relationships whether it's with a colleague at work, a friend or a significant other.
Look beyond YOU. Backing out of a commitment is impactful. Brittany and Amber caused a lot of angst for students new to living off campus and dealing with leases. Brandon's renege on his offer makes more than him look bad. Many employers refrain from hiring Hokies after one, yes, just one, student reneges. And, when Jordan and Taylor dropped out of their roles, it took a lot of conversations and adjustments before new officers were found. You create a bunch more work for others when you don't stick to your word. It's better to just say no in the first place. When you back out of a commitment, you definitely leave your mark, and it's not in a good way.
Don't say yes too soon. Do research. Weigh pros and cons of the promise you are about to make. Think through future commitments that you might have that could make you say no to this current possibility. If you're considering a job offer, if you're not prepared to say YES because you're still waiting to hear from other employers, then don't accept the offer yet. Ask for an extension. If that's not possible, then perhaps you should decline the first offer you get. After all, "The first thing isn't the right thing," a True Rule author Gretchen Rubin shared in The Happiness Project, that was her husband, Jamie's rule. I know that was true for me with my first job offer after I graduated with my master's degree, and I turned it down. The right job was the next offer that came along a month later.
I know sometimes we have to break commitments due to unforeseen circumstances and emergencies. But,
The next time before you say YES, make sure you're in...ALL IN!
Commitment is a big part of what I am and what I believe.
How committed are you to winning? How committed are you to being a good friend?
To being trustworthy? To being successful? How committed are you to being a
good father, a good teammate, a good role model? There's that moment every
morning when you look in the mirror: Are you committed, or are you not?
LeBron James
